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This week, I sat down with three of Roberts’ most elusive and anonymous meme creators for a quick interview that lasted about an hour and a half because not one of them were capable of focusing on one thing at a time. For the uninitiated, Alternative Roberts Memes (ARM), the “Largest Roberts meme page,” is an Instagram account run by four anonymous admins who post digital images related to events and jokes on the Roberts campus. In our interview, we talked about what each anonymous admin is like, the ethics of running a page that influences Roberts so much, and what it takes to be an admin. I specifically got to sit down with A6, A8, and A9 (A stands for “anonymous” or “admin,” depending on who you talk to, and the number next to it is which admin they are chronologically).
Tell me your perfect date.
A6 said, “As Mitchell Johnson once said, the perfect date is Chicken Lo Mein in the trunk of a car.”
A8 likes nice, long, extended, slow walks on the beach but is afraid of the beach.
A9 said, “Take me to an expensive dinner and talk to me like Tucker Carlson.”
If the other three admins were street-legal vehicles that stopped at the Roberts crosswalk after an innocent pedestrian pushed the warning lights button, what vehicle would they be?
A6: A7 is a bulldozer but if you like turned it into a tank. A8 is a PT Cruiser, and A9 is a Fiat if it only had three wheels, like a tuk-tuk.
A7: A6 is an environmentally friendly sports car, where you can’t tell if it’s a sports car – it looks a little bit off. A8 is a Honda Fit with all the dashboard warning lights on, and A9 is an engendered Prius.
A8: A6 is a beat-down 2001 Honda civic with mismatched duct tape covering rust and a missing hubcap. A7 is Ramone, the lowrider from Cars. A9 is the Badwagon from Mario Kart 8.
A9: A6 is a hot dog-shaped hot dog food truck, A7 is a Mazda Miata with the headlights popped up, and A8 is a motorcycle sidecar. Not the motorcycle. Someone is pushing it.
What is the history of Alternative Roberts Memes?
The page was started in 2018 by a student named Ben Richards. A few other admins came and went, but A1 (Ben Richards) and A4 were the biggest at that time.
The page’s worst moment set a precedent for how we run the page now – what you don’t do as an admin. One of the admins logged in after graduating and made a controversial post that didn’t serve any meme purpose and was just contentious. It almost killed the page and elicited a formal response from the admins of that time. That made us more scrutinous in what we do, so now we have more firm policies that include resetting the password to the account every time an admin graduates.
Why is ARM “Alternative”? Do you think ARM is a dumb acronym?
We’re not sure why he named it Alternative Roberts Memes, but he did. And ARM is a good acronym. Our group chat’s name is LEG.
Why are you anonymous?
Often, the page brings up things that, for students, need to be talked about. Our goal isn’t to make administration mad, but sometimes we talk about things that catch people the wrong way. We don’t try to go against administration, but we don’t try not to. The page is not controlled by administration, and we want to leave what happens to it up to our discretion by keeping our identities anonymous. We face a lot of backlash, and it would be a lot worse if more people knew who we were. And we’re not entirely anonymous, either – we tell a few people, and each admin typically reveals themselves when they graduate.
Are you working for or against the student body of Roberts?
For the student, against the body. But real talk, for the student body. The page is so big it needs to be unifying.
What’s your favorite meme you’ve made? What has been your favorite moment of ARM?
A6: The GCEC memes (you know which ones) and the Brenda Myrthil memes. My favorite moment was when the school became a University, and the page got a lot of attention. That was when the meme page started to come alive again.
A8: My favorite memes were the invisible/green screen Abe memes from the Redhawk Report, and my favorite moments of ARM are peoples’ surprise whenever I reveal my identity to someone.
A9: The Operation Christmas Child Packing Party was my favorite meme, and one day last semester, we gave a ransom note about the meme war to Nate made with pieces of the Beacon.
What is the furthest you’ll go for a joke?
We have a lot of discussion about this amongst ourselves – we are willing to go up to the line, but in the right way. We won’t bully faculty (too much) unless the faculty will love the jokes we make. Dr. Porterfield herself has said, “we love all the As.” We don’t want to cause division or hurt someone – we don’t do put-downs. The chapel speakers get a lot of memes made about them, but we ensure they are respected. If there is beyond a shadow of a doubt that a meme might offend someone, we clear the meme with the person before we post it. We also generally try to test the waters of the student body before we post certain things about specific topics. Lastly, we won’t post anything that’s too vulgar or that makes fun of any particular group.
Do you prefer quality or quantity of memes?
To A6 and A8, it depends on the day. Don’t let us talk any more about that. A9 prefers quality. All of it is intentional – sometimes they’ll be low-quality but on purpose. To us, it’s just funny or not funny.
What about controversial topics on campus? How do you communicate with each other?
During the housing changes controversy last year, it was just A5 and A6. The admins talked to each other and agreed on what to post. There is better communication between the admins because there have been some controversies. The meme page isn’t picking any particular side, but we want to show what the student body is saying.
How do you hope future generations will see this page?
A6, 8, and 9: When we’re gone, we hope that classmates will look back and see the jokes we made anonymously, and we hope that it will serve as a kind of virtual scrapbook for our class and the Roberts family. It is a privilege to be involved in this kind of cultural archiving of Roberts because they bring an enormous sense of community.
A7: “I want tremendous growth, but I also want it to get more and more outrageous. I don’t want to make people chuckle; I want tears. It’ll never get old, and it’ll never be predictable.”
Anything else you’d like to add?
The @alternativerobertsmemes page specifically apologizes to Nate Magaw for the letter.
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