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I don’t know about you, but I make mistakes and I’m wrong on a regular basis. For most of my life, this wasn’t a huge problem; I kept a low profile and didn’t attract much attention, so my mistakes could be swept under the rug of my peers’ busyness.
In high school, even when I had leadership positions, it seemed like people didn’t really care about me or what I did. Coming to college has changed that dynamic. Now that I’m here, my roles as an editor, captain, tutor, and more have forced me to face others’ opinions of me. I am coming to terms with the fact that I can’t make everyone happy, but more importantly, I am learning that actions I take that I see as beneficial or neutral can be unintentionally hurtful to other people.
I don’t know about you, but being told that I’m wrong really hurts.
What are we supposed to do with this pain? One solution is to deny the accusations and keep convincing ourselves that we’re not in the wrong; this paints over the pain by appealing to our egos. However, I’ve found that ignoring accusations can make us feel better about ourselves, but it doesn’t heal our relationships. Ignorance clearly isn’t the right answer
Maybe there’s someone in your life today who you’ve wronged, and it has brought you fear and pain, and maybe even shame. I would advise that the best way to deal with these emotions is to be honest with yourself and the other person through vulnerability and humility. The only real solution for conflict is reconciliation, and it takes two. If you’ve been wronged, open your heart to forgiveness; if you’ve wronged someone else, open your heart to accept forgiveness.
Ephesians 4:26b, 32
Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as God forgave you through Christ.
Photos: My best friend Lena and I; she’s taught me to forgive and be forgiven over our 20 years together.
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